Cold Night

"If the guilt of hurting you was heavy, seeing how easily you moved on made it disappear."

Seeing your recent stories paints a picture that makes certain things brutally clear. It is not guaranteed, but if *this* someone new is the actual reason for our breakup, then strangely, I don't feel that hurt anymore.

If you had left because my actions caused you unbearable pain, I would have carried that guilt for a lifetime. Because the pain of genuinely hurting someone who loves you is far worse than the pain of being left. But seeing how easily you replaced me... changes everything.

It makes me wonder if you were just 'monkey branching'. Did you already have a backup? Did you leave the exact moment you felt bored and secured a firm grip on the next branch?

If that is the truth, my guilt is gone. But it does make me doubt everything we had. Was any part of it real?

If I am already overthinking, there is one possibility I think also might be true. I think you never officially recognised me as your partner. That's the reason you haven't followed me on insta, never saved my phone number. I was never permanent part of your life. I was just a temporary relief.

Maybe this guy was always the integral part of ur life. Anyway I can fight for love , but won't compete for it.

Phir to Jo bhi hua, theek hai. Whatever happened, happened for the best. I will survive this. If he provides what you felt I couldn't, then there is nothing wrong with being with him. I just hope you don't make a habit of escaping and moving from one person to another the moment the initial excitement fades.

If u feel like u are putting efforts than there was never love. In love, even the most exhausting things feels effortless.

Relationships are long. Difficult times and flaws are inevitable. If escaping is your only plan for every problem, it will be hard to stay anywhere.

Right now, everything with him is new and shiny. But when time passes and reality sets in, don't just prepare to run again. I hope you understand this before it's too late.