Faasle
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"When there is a lack of communication, an overthinker's mind wanders in all directions, analyzing every possibility of what could have happened."
You left, and I still wonder what the real reason was. Was that trivial issue the only reason, or were there others? It is difficult to believe that a beautiful relationship broke over that, without trying to save it even once, and without a single proper conversation.
I still think what went wrong. And how I could have changed things.
When two people come together, it takes time to develop a mutual understanding of each other's needs. Leaving without even trying to build that understanding feels strangely abrupt and unfair.
That's why my brain hasn't been able to rest, constantly creating endless scenarios...
What was going on in your mind?
What changed you?
When did you actually decide to leave?
Has someone else replaced me?
Did you always have a backup?
Was I just a time pass?
Did I even mattered to you?
The questions are endless. But I know I won't get the answers now that you are gone... and honestly, I have slowly stopped wasting my time searching for them.
My self-respect and self-esteem have finally started to build a shield around my heart, protecting it from any further damage.
I still wonder why you chose to do it this way. Was any part of what we had was real? In these times you doubt everything. You could have at least sat down for a conversation. Why is it that you always run away from emotional confrontations? When you stopped loving me in this relationship? When was the first time you decided to leave? How in one month of realtionship, you made this decision?
But none of it matters anymore. Why should I suffer alone, while you move on like nothing happened. I am not going to reach out to you just to seek these answers. Our paths have been separated by you. Go find someone who is like you, who thinks like you, sharp like you, and smart like you.
I will try to walk my own path now.